Where I got "daisycurtains"

"daisycurtains" is from a line in one of my poems called, "I Remember." I wrote the poem to my mom one year in place of a Mother's Day card, because that year, like other years, I was having difficulty finding a card that expressed what I wanted to say to her. We had a strained relationship for many years and I was mad her most of the time, so I just couldn't couldn't pick up any mushy card off the shelf talking about a typical loving mother daughter relationship when I didn't feel it. The frustrating part was that I loved her and wanted to say something honest to express my love but I couldn't find it from a card someone else wrote. So, I decided to write this poem. I hand wrote it on a big piece of sketch paper and gave it to her, with no frame, no color, just words on a big piece of paper. I will say that just because I was experiencing those feelings didn't mean she wasn't a wonderful and lovable person. She was. Anyone who knows her would tell you so. Little by little, we worked through our differences, and the last five or six years of her life we grew very close. I eventually overcame my feelings of resentment toward her. I remember the first year I felt those negative feelings lifted, was a year after she was diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimers. She was still very cognizant of her surroundings and the people in her life but was beginning to show early stages of the disease. Anyway, she came to my college graduation, and I remember her excitement about my achievement. It was so honest and real and I remember thinking, "Wow, she really does love me." I felt like she finally saw me for "me." It sounds silly, but even as an adult with grown children of my own, I needed that moment, and it was a good one. This poem expresses some of my childhood memories of mom, when I was a child, when we were closest, like the time we made daisy curtains. I hope you enjoy, Cate.

"I Remember" (a Poem by Cathy Gruman)

Horses and bikes and pools,
books and puzzles, coloring books and board games,
homemade cookies and cinnamon toast.
Homemade daisy curtains, I helped you make them.
They were yellow and orange on white cotton.
We squeezed the acrylic paint from the tube onto the fabric.
Eggs and bacon always seemed to be enough,
and Jello.
Hardwood floors and bunkbeds,
Hide and go seek until sundown, you always brought us in before dark.
Waiting for a Cinderella movie to begin,
we watched the clock in your bedroom, with the hands moving slowly to 7 p.m.
I remember your big hip earrings
your pretty hair
your pretty face
your eyeliner and mascara
and pretty lipstick
your "Jackie O" look.
I remember looking at you,
your walk dignified, your posture strong and elegant
but soft.
The little white church
where you brought us
and taught us.
The potlucks,
your singing groups and choir friends,
your laugh, your smile, your fun,
your face.
I remember our home
that you made for us
I remember you, mom
You.